About running away, searching and drifting

 

Last week I looked back and was surprised: It’s already over three months that I’m on the road. I couldn’t believe it. Some days felt like they had 30 hours, some days passed within a blink of an eye. To look back also meant to think about the topics that came up and I realized that I had to deal with two questions that I haven’t been asked only once during my travels…

 

„Is it possible that you are running away from something?“

After my Aurlandsdalen hike I met Inger Anita who I gave a ride and she offered me to stay at her place for the night (better than sleeping in the car 😉

We clicked right away and talked for hours, it was a great evening. Casually she mentioned that some travelers run away from something and looked at me with a questioning glance.

 

I assured her that I already had dealt with this question when I tried to immigrate to Canada (read about it here part 1 , part 2 , part 3).

Back then I answered this question with “no”. No, I don’t run away. I run towards something. Towards a life I like. Towards a lifestyle that I feel comfortable with.

 

By the way I’m not alone with this, Nomadic Matt has written a great article on this, read here

 

And then I had a thought: Would a twenty year old be suspected to be running away of something? Wouldn’t you rather think she wants to explore the world and gather experience? And maybe to find a new place to live?

Is it so difficult to understand a mid-thirty year old that she wants the same? Combined with the focus on her writing projects…

 

In the last weeks my journey was a lot about acceptance.

 

One aspect was to accept that I exactly know where I want to live. Canada. I knew the whole time, but I still tried to find a compromise. The compromise to live in Europe to be able to visit my family more than once a year.

Sometimes I’m annoyed by myself, my patience and efforts to find the best solution (according to a personality test I’m an innovator and innovators do that all the time…looking for the best solution). But I also try to accept that part of me 😉

 

„Are you looking for yourself?”

On my travels I meet people with different backgrounds, get to know new cultures and traditions and besides the typical small talk (“where do you come from? How long are you staying for? Where are you going next?”), there are also conversations about the question “are you looking for yourself?”

 

Since “Eat Pray Love” people draw parallels between

Julia Roberts and women over 30 who take a break and travel.

 

Nope. Not my topic. I’m not looking for myself, I already have found myself.

Well, I thought so.

 

And then I opened the door to my spiritual self further and accepted that there are skills inside myself I want to explore and discover.

In Sweden, I helped out at a B&B for three weeks that is also a Spiritual Growth Center. Being there and exploring my spiritual side

 

I learned more about not only listening to my guts

but also asking my subconscious before making decisions.

 

Drifting

My spiritual self gives me the necessary faith to let go and drift and see where the universe is sending me to.

When I explored a city, I looked at a city map, searched a route and forgot it as soon as I stepped out of the building. LOL

After a while I stopped planning a route and just started walking. And ended up at exactly the sightseeing spots that are written in every tour guide.

 

There were signs again and again that I’m in alignment with the universe. Everything is good as it is.

 

So I thought I send some messages to helpx and workaway hosts and wait what happens.

I tried to keep the number of criteria as little as possible:

  • Sunny
  • Somewhat warm
  • Not too isolated (minimum a small town nearby)
  • Cheap flight 😉

 

I wrote to about eight hosts on the Canary Islands. Only one replied and no interest. I got a few answers from Lisboa and Malta but still it’s nothing 100% set up yet.

 

Instead I kept receiving requests from hosts in Italy…although I didn’t put this as a destination in my profile. It’s started with Sardinia, then Sicily, and now after the fifth request I think about confirming a stay near Florence…

As you can see, everything is still chaotic and only planned a little.

 

A few years ago I would have gone crazy for not knowing where I will be in two weeks.

 

But for some reason, I know that everything will work out.

 

My spiritual self pushes me everyday  to listen to my intuition. And I do that, trust and let go – like the colorful fall leaves in the sometimes stormy fall wind – and I will land in front of a door that all of the sudden opens.

 

Then I will walk through with a smile and enjoy the sun that is behind the door 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

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