“We are getting married!”
I ended up falling in love with a guy from Chile two years after I came out of the closet and we were together for 13 years. I believe in long romances. I think our average is far better than the straight men’s (laughs).
After 13 years with my ex-boyfriend he was kind of one of those guys who didn’t mind to fool around on you. We had a relatively open relationship but more in a normal thinking rather than a fooling around type of relationship. He moved away and I was ready to move ways too. So I packed all my stuff and then he phoned and said he didn’t like it out there, he came home, stayed a few months and decided to move away again.
Again I packed up, ready to go. Then I got a phone call ‘I’m coming home’. In the meantime, because he had left me paying all the bills, paying for the apartment, nobody sleeping with, I eventually met Matthew. The most wonderful person in the world. He is such a sweetheart!
But I was still with my ex-boyfriend and we already had planned a vacation. We had a wonderful vacation! When we came home and who meets us at the airport? A very best friend and Matthew. My ex-boyfriend had kind of an idea that something was going on but I was fairly open about it. I told my ex-boyfriend that that was it. He wasn’t shocked. I think he realized that it can’t go on forever. I have to have someone in my life not wandering the world.
My family was always ok with me being gay. They were ok with the fact that my ex-boyfriend was Chilean. There was no problem with that.
Then we came out about Matthew. He is full blooded Native and the fact that Matthew and I we have a thirty years difference in age became a big shock with my family. The age factor number 1. And ‘the Native’ for some people number 2. The stigma with the Natives in Canada is that many of them are lazy and don’t work which is a bit of a lie because they are not really like that. The white man is just as bloody bad.
So my daughters didn’t take that very well. My oldest daughter friended Matthew and turned around six weeks later and sent me a message that I was disgusting that I was living with a little brown boy. The fact that I was marrying a man that was 30 years younger than me was disgusting. Then she totally cut me off. Just like that.
He was reading this because we were sitting together. Of course tears were dripping out of Matthew’s face because he doesn’t have family of his own other than a sister. No mom, no dad. And he was thinking ‘Maybe I found a family’.
I got a message from my youngest daughter who I haven’t seen in four years. Because she had totally unfriended me because of my gay lifestyle.
My gay lifestyle is really no different than anybody else’s. My gay lifestyle exists of ‘I’m gay. That’s it’. I am no different of how I was 30-40 years ago. I’m still that guy. Most people don’t even know I’m gay.
But for the most part Matthew and I have been accepted, it’s been amazing. Between the two of us we have probably 190 friends on facebook that are very supportive.